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Feb 27, 2004
I stand corrected

Oop!  My bad.  I should probably delete the previous entry, but I'm a big enough man to admit when I'm wrong and simply move on.  This whole gay marriage thing is really more a legal matter than a religious one, so my whole SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE argument is worth about as much as a kernal of corn embedded in a stool sample. 

If there is one reason to defend the rights of gay people to get married, it has to be the untapped potential for bolder and more tasteless reality shows like, "My Big Fat Gay Fiance".  I'm sure Richard Hatch is available for such a project, and I want my vision to become a reality....or a reality show as it were. 

On a more serious note, if this whole gay marriage thing is a legal matter then a case can be made that any such legislation would be discriminatory by nature, and therefore unconstitutional.

On a less serious note, BOOGAAA!  BOOOOOOGAAAH! 

The only reason this issue has become an issue as of late, is so Bush can gain support of Conservatives whose support of the President is probably wavering in light of the WMD controversy, skyrocketing defecits, record setting unemployment trends, to mention just a few issues.

It bothers me that young people from our neighboorhoods are dying everyday over in Iraq, and the media is focusing on whether or not Howard Stern should be able to do his shctick, Janet's Boob, Rosie O'donnels big fat gay wedding, etc.

The media is like a giant funhouse mirror that focuses on one or two things at a time, and distorts the likeness of the subject matter almost beyond recognition.


Posted at 10:04 am by captainsblog
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Feb 25, 2004
Gotta keep em separated

I'm not gay, so the whole controversy erupting over the "Same Sex Marriage", kind of eluded my concern for a while.  I didn't really have an opinion on it until I realized something that even Kerry has yet to mention. 

Whether or not a church, synagogue, buddhist temple, or cult of Elvis worshipers, allows such goings-on, should be a matter for the Vatican, or whatever power structure presides over any of these various religions.

Why?  Separation of church and state.  I haven't heard anybody mention that amending The Constitution over this issue violates the principle of Separation of church and state. 

Am I the only one awake here?  All Bush does is drone on and on about freedom.  If this is a free country, then each organized religion should be free to decide how they feel about the gay marriage thing.

Separation of church and state.

I watched the inaugural proceedings on C - Span, and was surprised at how Bush was so "Jesus - Centric" in all his acceptance speeches.  He disenfranchised ever other major religion from his first minute as President.  Now he wants to regulate every religion with a sweeping ammendment to the Constitution that effectively takes a right to a semi-normal life away from a sad minority?

I refer to the gay community as a sad minority because any man who was born without being able to appreciate Paris Hilton is absolutely in the minority, and not be able to appreciate those hooters is kind of sad.
Ammending the Constituion to prohibit gay marriage sounds like something a foreign dictator would do.  The most important thing to realize is SERPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE.  Does the President even know what that means? 

This whole issue was brought up as a divisive ploy in Bush's recently stepped-up campaign aggression.  A so called "wedge issue".  I hope it turns into an atomic wedgie that gets pulled over the current Administrations head with a vengeance. 
I'm not "for" gay marriage, but I don't oppose it either.  What I do oppose is any so called leadership that refuses to abide by the principles of Seperation of Church and State!

Posted at 08:02 am by captainsblog
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Feb 23, 2004

WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING?  I have the Spanish Network on and they are airing a show entitled "La Guerra De Lo Sexos" according to the channel channel, or "Guerra De Lo Sexos" according to the shows title graphics.  So far the show has featured various women clad in bras, bikinis, and other scant attire taking turns dancing around a stripper pole in some sort of contest to see who is the best. 

The spirit of competition continued in keeping with the finest tradition of gameshow, as a bunch of people were trying to see who could hold a farm chicken in their hands and hypnotize their farm chickens first.  The women that won, were then dancing around with their chicken.

Right now a bunch of people are trying to answer quiz questions as fast as they can, while they get hit with liquid nitrogen or something equally cold. 

This is almost as wacky as Japanese Game Shows.  Anyway, put this one in your TIVO folks....
Move over Bob Barker, "La Guerra De Lo Sexos" has arrived.


Posted at 05:52 pm by captainsblog
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Ralph's Redemption and Regis

Ralph did vaguely suggest that he would "pull out" if he thought his having inserted himself into the race would result in impregnating the nation's leadership with a retarded baby in 2004.  

As a general word of caution, do not leave retarded babies unattended while they are eating pretzels, as this presents a choking hazzard.

Maybe Nader will help bring important issues to light during the campaign.

I'm actually voting for the Pro Lesbian Party.  It isn't a political party so much as it is a desert rave that celebrates the flight of the lesbian seagull. 

If elected, the Pro Lesbian Party promises to convert Monica Lewinsky to munch the Presidential carpet.

The candidacy was tentatively announced, and it looks like Ellen De-generous will be running with Regis Philbin as her running mate.  While Regis is only a lesbian in spirit, his dynamic persona was a catalyst that was instrumental in influencing many women to abandon the male of our species all together and convert to hardcore militant lesbianism.

Posted at 06:32 am by captainsblog
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Feb 21, 2004
Ralph Nader Is A Dick

Ralph Nader is a dick.  What a great opening line.  I'll have to use that one next time I'm out at a bar. 

If he announces that he intends to join the Presidential race tomorrow, we're screwed. 

This is what helped Gore lose Florida in the last election....that and Gore's lisp...ha ha. 

While Ralph may be well intentioned, he should have a glass of "Shut The Fuck Up", and sit this one out.

If he really cares about this country, he should closely examine the remarkable impact he had on the last election and realize he would only be helping to divide and conquer the segment of the population that could vote W out of office. 

Is Ralph Nader a dick?  We'll have to wait until Sunday to find out.   

I had some really good job offers fall through and I'm kind of wallowing in disapointment at the moment.  I have some more prospects so I'm just going to keep moving forward.  Getting hired is a really slow process....ugh.

I got a timeslot for a public access tv show!  The show won't be political at all, since I manage to vent all that crap on here and don't feel the need to blow off steam on cable. 
So far the only segment I've put on tape is my housemate showing how to make 15 pounds of chili for under 10 dollars...whoopee!  So far, so lame, but hey...I don't have a budget or a job to support this, so I am surprised I even bothered to wake up at 3:00 am to get in the massive queue that had already assembled to wait for the time slots.

His chili is really good, and I needed to learn how to prepare a low cost alternative to Mac And Cheese for my own purposes.  If nothing else, putting this on tape was a great benefit for me.   Maybe somebody else will find value in it too.

Skit comedy would be fun to do, but the cost of props, costumes, and all that other crap is kind of prohibitive for an unemployed person.  It's fun to try and make something at any rate.  I only need to pump out a single half hour episode a month.  If I'm feeling really jiggy I can put out a half hour a week.  The first show aires April 2nd.  WooOOoo hooOOOo!



Posted at 03:26 pm by captainsblog
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Feb 3, 2004
vampire sitcom

I'm thinking of producing a cable access sitcom about a vampire that can only drink period blood. 

I was thinking of calling it "Cunt Dracula", but that is kind of vile and the public access people might be offended.  How about, Count Yakula? 
The vampire would be roomates with a vegeterian vampire.  The vegan vampire would seduce a woman into a trance, and then after gazing longingly at her neck, he would lunge for the contents in her salad bowl.

Maybe I could toss a parody of "The Odd Couple" in there along with it.  Sounds like fun!

I would love to know why CBS couldn't air the Moveon.org commercial, but allowed Janet Jackson's boob to air.  They have a seven second delay, so what is the deal? 

Okay, who cares.  Like we haven't heard enough about her boob.  Maybe at the Grammys she'll treat us to a beaver flash.

Stay tuned for "The Legend Of Urine Girl"...coming soon, to RONWORLD


Posted at 09:57 pm by captainsblog
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Feb 2, 2004
Dean's Mr. Microphone

Dean's screaming escade which was hillariously described by one of Comedy Central's comedians as a "siezure",  has made him the laughing stock of the Primaries.

What isn't funny is the reality that a viable candidate has had his image tarnished if not completely FUBAR.

In actuality the "scream heard around the world" was nothing more than a travesty of irresponsible media reporting, and poor microphone technique.

One television news outlet investigated what really happened, and I was lucky enough to catch the not so widely reported truth behind the incident.

What really happened was that Dean was surrounded by hordes of screaming supporters who fervently hooting and hollering in a deafening roar.  The "Mr. Microphone" mic that Dean was using, was a highly directional microphone.  What this means in the world of microphones, is that the microphone only picks up sound that is directly in front of it.  The news outlet played the same clip of the scream from a camera that was on the scene that had been equipped with an omni directional mic.  This mic picked up sound coming from all directions, as the name implies.  In the midst of the screaming cheers of his supporters, Dean's wacky scream sounds completely normal.  If you isolate that sound, it sounds completely ridiculous.

I liken this to Linda McCartney's background vocals.  I saw Paul McCartney in concert a many years ago, and his late wife's background vocals blended into the mix and weren't glaringly bad or ridiculous.

I do recall hearing a radio broadcast that attempted to ridicule her singing by islolating the microphone that captured the sound of her vocals.  When her microphone was isolated, the vocals in a vacuum we're indeed laughable.  This is pretty much the same thing.

If Dean hadn't been using a "Mr. Microphone" mic, his entire standing in the campaign would be radically different.  It boggles my mind that a candidate with sound ideas could be completely destroyed by bad audio production.  This is clearly a case of the television medium presenting a distorted view of reality.  These few seconds of unbridled enthusiam has been distorted by the medium which captured it, and passed off as evidence that Dean is mentally unstable. 

This really is a travesty of irresponsible media spin and low budget audio production.  The only good that can possibly come out of this, is if Dean loses the Primary he may be cast in a remake of "The Howling".

Posted at 12:42 pm by captainsblog
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Jan 26, 2004
Ronworlds Inbox 3!

Welcome to third installment of...


I got a really good question from JULIET, who asks:  So where does Ron stand in the political side of things?  It was almost as if you had read my mind on this one.  I had a feeling after creating my last entry, that it probably seems like I am mocking Kosinich.  The fact is, I like his ideas the best out of all the candidates that are competing for the democratic nomination.  Things as they are now are sooo far out of wack to the right, that I think the country needs somebody with as bold a vision as Kucinich, to straighten things out.  Politically, I LOVE the USA, but I really hate the way it is being run under the current Administration.  This is my opinion, and because this country is so awesome, I'm allowed to state it freely.  I don't have an affiliation with any political party, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Sagitarian, Pro Hemp, Right To Lypo, etc.  I believe that the best people for the job should be elected.  This is an era where big institutions that took years of hard work to build up, are being raped and looted for short term gains by greedy people who don't care about the well being of your grandchildren.  This needs to stop before we end up living in van down by the river, as the late great Chris Farley's motivation speaker character once declared.  



Posted at 01:35 am by captainsblog
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Jan 25, 2004
ronworlds inbox 2


It's time for another installment of..

Today's Inbox question comes from Dave Id.  Id asked:
I've been hearing this word -- electability -- in the news quite a bit these days.  How exactly is this word defined?

Well Dave Id, "electability" as defined by the dictionary is just another form of the adjective, "electable" which they define as "capable of being elected, as to public office". 

Now that our terms are defined lets get on to the fun stuff!  In a question that follows Dave Id asks: 

What makes Kucinich "unelectable"?  What are your thoughts/perceptions?

Unfortunately, Kucinich looks more like a small woodland animal than a great world leader.  Because of the importance that appearance plays in the television age, Kucinich's chances of replacing Bush in the Whitehouse would be no more likely than the possiblitiy of Kucinich replacing Jim Morrison as lead singer of the The Doors.  I would love to see him do a drunken poetry reading set to the remaining trio's inimitable musical stylings.  The time may have finally arrived for "The Soft Parade Redux".  I can picture him swaying to Ray Manzericks hypnotic keyboard riffs while moaning "Ride the snake....ride the snake to the lake!".  If he doesn't win the nomination for the democratic candidacy, there are some great creative opportunites waiting to blossom.

A third and final question from Dave ID follows:  So, do you believe Dennis would fare better in the pre-TV age? I think Dennis suffers from an image problem, and would fare better in a world where appearance isn't so pronounced on television. 

I also suspect that part of his electability problem has to do with the fact that he is more extreme to the left than most of his contemporaries.  This would reduce his support from people with more conservative leanings that may want an alternative to W.  This reduced support translates to a lower electability factor.  

I think even Dean's moment of what appeared to have been mild hysterics during the Iowa Caucus, has damaged his image and therefore reduced his E-factor.  Again, the power of the televised image captured and replayed ad nauseum much like the "oooh my  nose....ooooh my nose" sequence on the Brady Bunch, has withered his credibility substantially. 

The soundbite taken out of context is perceived more as a momentary lapse of reason.  Since few people want Pink Floyd for President, his only hope to recover the confidence of the American people is to don a ten gallon cowboy hat and sing, "I'm proud to be an American", at every possible photo opportunity from now on.  In just a few unguarded moments he lost a tremendous amount of ground.  Sometimes the guy with the straightest poker face, wins the game no matter what kind of hand he has to play.  Thanks for your questions Dave Id .  If anybody else has a question in need of a whimsical answer, drop a line to RONWORLDS INBOX via the reply control window in this blog, or e-mail me at...





Posted at 09:37 pm by captainsblog
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it comes and goes

A childhood friend of mine was offered a recording contract on a huge music label many years ago.  He dropped out of highschool and signed the contract about a year before he would have graduated.  Two years later his album was released.

Prior to this he was a pretty quiet and unassuming guy with a close circle of several friends.

A typical night out during the salad days, would involve two to four people bar hopping, and trying to meet some women.

When his record was released, he had a music video that aired on MTV about two dozen times.  The media hailed him as a local hero and jumped on the story of his impending success and fortune.

Wherever we went, a whirlwind of people would mob around us.  Complete strangers were suddenly putting their arm around him, buying him drinks and declaring, "I'll be able to say I knew you before you we're famous". 

As somebody who has known this guy from our junior highschool days, I was suddenly not able to actually enjoy a drink in the company of my friend without having to elbow my way through a throng of people that suddenly became his best friend. 

He basked in the glow of the spotlight, and this worked out well, because it was as if a spotlight followed him wherever he went.

I would recede to the background when the whirling vortex of humanity closed in from every angle.  The mobs surrounding him made casual conversation impossible in public.

He confided in me, that it was his new found confidence that made him so popular as of late. 

While I agreed that this was absolutely a factor, I silently suspected that the sweet smell of looming success and fortune, attracted hordes of people like flies to honey. 

His video stopped airing on MTV, and sales of his album peaked at about 7000 copies before slumping off.  A large feat of success in my opinion, but the huge music label viewed it as less than impressive. 

After two years, the giant music label dropped him from their artist roster about a month before his second album was due for release. 

The new album was shelved indefinetly.  As property of the label, the recordings on the master tapes which he slaved over for many hours, were put into storage and he was not able to aquire the rights to them due to contractual legalities.

He works in a supermarket now stocking shelves, and the massive hordes of people have long since crawled back into the woodwork from whence they came.

These days a typical night out usually involves two to four people bar hopping, and trying to meet some women.

Once in a great while, somebody will recongize him but when they do, they no longer come bearing drinks. 

Occasionally, some are even so boorish as to make snide remarks about him being a "has-been". 

When you are poor, you know who your freinds are.  Witnessing what my freind experienced has made me realize that while fame and fortune certainly seem like a joyride of endless pleasure, there is nothing more fleeting than the sweet smell of success.

Posted at 10:34 am by captainsblog
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