Entry: MARS AND STUFF Jan 7, 2004

I kind of miss the days of manned space fight.  Sure it's dangerous, too expensive, and impractical, but that never stopped the war on Iraq.

This recent mission to MARS is great, but the idea of a camera boldly going where no man has gone before, reminds me more of a colonoscopy than the grand futuristic visions of space exploration that the millenium ought to be.  One small step for man, one large step for Texas Instruments.

The most important reason for going to Mars is to stay well ahead of the Chinese in space exploration, now that they have recently conquered space travel.  We need to impress upon the Chinese that America is STILL number one!  We still rule, because we went to Mars FIRST!!  Okay, we didn't actually GO there, but we managed to fire a robot up there to steal some rocks, take pictures of rocks, and deeply analyze what amounts to a bunch of rocks.

Forget science.  By NASA "going" to Mars, the Chinese are now forced to wake up and smell the mad cow cheeseburger, and realize that we Americans are not a bunch of slacker fatsos that are overfed on fast food and reality tv.  

Ironically, the American diet consists largely of artificial process foods, while the television industry strives to bring us reality.  It really should be the other way around; mostly real food, and mostly fake tv.  Actually, who am I kidding...hardly anything on tv is real.  Have you seen Sam Donaldson's hair?  That's living proof...or synthetic proof actually.

With election time right around the corner, having the bragging rights to claim that you presided over the Administration that put sophisticated calculators on MARS, makes a guy look great....it's a bragging right that is the Presidential equivalent of being able to say to your freinds that you had sex with Madonna.

One more thought about manned space travel...after watching Apollo 13, it is apparent that just because you send somebody out to space, doesn't mean you will be able to get them back.  This should be harnessed to our advantage.  We should be firing all kinds of people into space.  I think Geraldo Rivera should volunteer for the first shift, with Jerry Springer riding shotgun. 




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